Spreadsheet of Doom

As when I introduced my boss to everyone prior I felt the need to write again about him. Although I could have entitled this "Part 2" - I felt the need to only speak on one aspect of what he does and not his entirety as before.


I titled this the "Spreadsheet of Doom" for a particular reason. My boss being the great guy he is (said with sarcasm and insert laugh track here) has put together an Excel spreadsheet for his personal musings.

While I know many bosses do this for the purposes to track vacations and sick days and make sure that not everyone is taking off during labor day week. This is where my boss differs and to be honest its very quite funny.


Instead of putting it in a simple calendar to shows whose off work he will just put down each persons name and the date they are off.


Okay - nothing wrong with that but lets dig a little deeper shall we?


He also puts in there if there are any individuals that are tardy. Yes, I said TARDY. Tardy as in late a few minutes. Not hours. MINUTES. I'm not talking 30 minutes here people. I'm talking 5-
7 minutes.


He will actually add these 'tardies' up and count that against any employee.


Okay, remember how I said its pretty funny earlier? Well, right about now your thinking, "Its really not that funny and to be honest its a little mean."


Being the omnipotent boss he is as he does this terrific spreadsheet - we make sure to do one for him. In the last 8 months he has been sick 3 days, vacation a total of 16 days, and tardy around the time frame of 1500 hours which is actually 25 days. Almost a full month.

So, lets add that up shall we? 16 + 3 + 25 = 44. That's 44 days people. That's like not working a FULL month AND then some.

There is your funny part. How do you like that?

Apparently he misheard the ever-so-famous quote we all hear growing up, "Do as I Do" rather in this case, "Do as I say"